no. 11: sorry, you have a dummy for a mommy

dear little leah, 

let's just get this out in the open. i locked you in the car today. 

{...}

okay. now that that's over, let me explain. 

you and i were headed to our friend's house to eat dinner. daddy was at work and not answering his phone {we figured he was in a super-secret, very important meeting}. we needed to get gas and larry {our trusty civic} was filthy, so we were going to give him a bath after we fed him. 

as i put you in the car, i made sure that all the windows were rolled up tight, the doors were locked and they were shut tight. check. 

then we drove to the gas station. i got my credit card out of my purse and left everything else on the seat. i thought to myself, "maren, you should take the keys out of the ignition." but i didn't listen. i just left them there. the car was off, but the keys hung there {later, they would taunt me}. 

as i exited the car, i popped the gas cap open and then, by habit, lifted the driver's door handle and locked the car. i didn't even realize i did it. it was just habit. i didn't immediately shut the door. i left it open. then, before i started pumping, i decided to close it. {i remembered when i was a little girl, the smell of gas made me want to puke and i wanted my mom and dad to shut their door as SOON as physically possible so i wouldn't have to smell the stank for one second longer than necessary.} i was just being unselfish, really. 

yup, so i closed it. remember, that was after i had unknowingly, automatically locked it. i realized it mid-slam. and then i thought, "no, i didn't lock the door. it's still unlocked. right? right?"

nope. 


locked. 


so were the other three doors. and tightly, i might add. larry was filthy, after all. 


i held it together and walked to the convenience store at the gas station. a nice man there lent me his cell phone when he found i locked my keys...and my CHILD...in the car. 


daddy didn't answer. neither did our dinner date. and, since i've rid myself of that habit i had when i was 17 of memorizing everyone's phone numbers {and those are two of the only five i do know} because my cell phone does it for me, those were all safely locked in my car too. 

a few people told me to ask you to just lift the lock from your seat. ugh. {curse word} that rett syndrome. even though you probably wouldn't have been able to reach it since you were safely buckled in your seat. but still, {curse word} that rett syndrome.

i started to walk into the convenience store to call a locksmith when a good samaritan said he would call AAA for me. turns out, that good samaritan was also helping the gentleman who lent me his phone {who ran out of gas a few blocks away}. mr. good samaritan got some good points in heaven for his deeds today. 


mr. samaritan's wife stayed with me while the two men went to fill up the empty car. fifteen minutes later, a local tow company came and jimmied the door open. 


you weren't exactly calm the whole time. when i finally wrapped my arms around you, there were boogers and slobber covering you entire face and a good portion of your beautiful hair. 


i'm so sorry, little leah. sometimes moms do dumb things. i'm so glad you were okay. i really do love you...even if i mess up sometimes. and yes, daddy and i had a conversation about getting AAA today on the way home from work. he finally answered his phone.


you are my i love you. 

love, 
mommy


p.s. next car this family purchases, we are splurging for power locks, by the way.