Monday, August 9, 2010

you are you said you...

dear little leah,

i've been in a good place lately. i'm not sure how or why i got here. or why i wasn't here the past few months. but either way, i'm here and i like it.

things are just kind of flowing with our little family. you've got a good schedule and it seems to be working. you're getting better at telling us when you do or don't like something or telling us something out of the blue! {great job reaching really far onto the table knocking over my glass of water the other day. i had no idea you were thirsty!} you've been happy and giggly and fun to be around.

and i've had a {relatively} good attitude.

nothing has changed with your diagnosis. in fact, i've got a laundry list of things i need to do before we see dr. glaze in october, i'm still not sure how i want to approach using technology for you to communicate in the home, and there are plenty of moments i wish you could just use those darn hands.

but it hasn't seemed to bother me as much lately.

i had a 30 minute poor-me session yesterday when i realized all of your three and four year old friends would be attending a mini summer camp for the next three days. a camp you weren't even invited to. i didn't expect an invitation. and if we had received the invitation, we obviously would have had to decline. but i moped anyway. i shed a few tears. and then i got over it. that's way better than my days of moping the last few months would have brought.

you have a cd you listen to sometimes from girl power 2 cure. the very first song says, "i am i said i. i am me said me. i am exactly who i am supposed to be." and you know what? it's true! you are my little leah bean. you are exactly who you are supposed to be. sometimes it's hard for me to wrap my little brain around that. but i truly love you just the way you are. i still hope for treatments or a cure that would help you to navigate your way through life a little easier. but, you are you, cure or not. and i love YOU to the moon and back.