Sunday, October 10, 2010

no. 10: cornered

dear little leah, 

you have a thing for corners. you always have. when you were a brand new baby, i'd find you all curled up in the very top corner of your crib. you'd shimmied out of your blanket {leaving it in a perfect cocoon in the middle of the mattress} and then out of your jammies {leaving them in a perfect cocoon just above your hollow blanket} and you in the corner. 
when you were a little bigger, you used to roll, scoot and crawl into corners in our house - most commonly to the side of the couch behind your toys or to the side of your dresser trapped between your mirror, crib and garbage can. 
it's kind of weird. well, it used to be weird...until i figured out why you love them so.

i guess backing yourself into a corner helps you find your place in space. sometimes rett syndrome leaves you feeling a little vulnerable in this big, wide world. when you can feel things close around you, you feel a bit safer and can function a little better. 

i have to admit, the corner thing is pretty cute. you find corners at stores {my favorites so far being michael's crafts in seriously the only recess in the wall in the entire store and underneath the suits in the suit rack at macy's a few weeks ago}. you find corners at home {behind the kitchen table, next to the big ugly orange chair, in your closet, in my closet, next to the get the idea}. and you're actually very adept at wiggling yourself into those corners.

if you ever sit down in the middle of the room, you'll get this sweet little grin on your face and shimmy/butt bounce yourself backward until your back hits something and you can finally rest in...a corner. 

i'm glad you've figured out your safe place, leah beah. i'm so happy you're finding ways to rest and regulate your body. you just never stop working and trying. 

i love you so. 


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