Friday, March 12, 2010


dear little leah,

today you finished your first week of big-girl preschool.the kind of preschool where the parents don't come with the students.

the kind of preschool where you could take the bus.

the kind of preschool that is 4 day each week!!

you looked super cute on your first day. new birthday shirt. crisp, white capris {that you scuffed on your way in - you were so excited you ran faster than your little legs could carry you!}. cute pink "nub-tails" (that's what we've decided to call them - they're a mix between nubbies and pigtails). fun new backpack. pink Velcro shoes.

everyone asked me how you liked it.

i wish i knew the answer to that question.

you couldn't tell me {in your cute little voice} if you had a good day or not. you couldn't tell me all about your new teachers and your new friends. you couldn't tell me all about art time or snack time or circle time. you couldn't tell me about the cool toys, recess, the books, the potty. you couldn't tell me if you felt happy, sad, frustrated, excited.

your teachers said you did well. they mentioned you seemed tired, but other than that, you were very cooperative. that makes me happy. four days a week is a lot. so you have been extra tired. so extra tired that you haven't sleep well at night and you barely take a nap. i'm hoping we'll all get used to this four-day-a-week schedule and our sleeping can get back to normal {again}.

it was a rough first day. and it's been a rough week. so it can only go up from here, right?

most of the time i'm okay with the fact that you are different. today i wasn't. today i cried. i cried a lot. i was so sad for the simple things we're both missing out on because we communicate differently than each other.

i'm sure you wanted to tell me all about your day. i just don't know how to hear you. i'm learning too. they just don't have a school for mommies, so i have to do it on my own.

so, we'll keep going to preschool. and kindergarten. and grade school and beyond. and hopefully, one day, you'll be able to tell me how your first day of school was.
i love you.


1 comment:

  1. Hi Maren
    Boy do I feel like an idiot. Here I am a follower of your blog and I didnt put 2 and 2 together when we met you at the study this weekend!
    In case you were wondering why we just came over and introduced ourselves it was b/c we had just seen Paige in the hall and she said I want you to meet a new family, they are out in the waiting area, gotta run!!! She wanted to come with us to make it not such an ambush meeting but she couldnt so we just came and ate your apples. (sorry)
    I LOVE your blog. i think I found it on Kelly's page for Brooklyn.
    I know days are busy and there is a lot going on but since we met I have been trying to figure out a way to find you and here is a new post on my blog list! yay! I'd love to get together. It would be fun to get Leah and Avery together for a playdate. I have never done a playdate with Avery b/c it was always too hard for me, but our two cuties would be awesome. I totally understand though if not. It would be great to have another mom with a girl close to Avery's age who got their diagnosis just a month before we did. I'd love it. My email is
    Take care