while you were sleeping

 {you, comfortably tangled in your sheets, july 2011 -  

your bed is way cooler now}

dear little leah, 

our church here starts at 1:00pm. i'll just come right out and say it: it's about my least favorite time for church. ever. i never seem to be "productive" in the morning, even with spiritual things, so we end up wasting a lot of time. it's a really long time to lounge around and avoid the kitchen on fast sundays like today. and it is especially difficult with your naps. 

first off. i'm super glad you still take naps. 

they're pretty short, but school and other activities where you work so hard seem to wear you out enough to need just a little bit of extra shut eye during the day. not to mention that whole not-being-able-to-calm-your-own-body-down thing. if you wake up too early in the morning and are too quiet for us to hear, you'd be lucky to put yourself back to sleep {case in point: last night when i heard you crying and found you sitting up underneath your little table, squished behind the chairs and half sitting on your roller skates}. 

so this morning, i went in to get you as soon as i first heard you babble {love those babbles, by the way...}. we lazed around for a little bit and you ate a good breakfast. and then around 10:30, i laid with you in bed, calming your body down enough for you to doze off and dream. 

i love watching you sleep. i've always loved it. but now i really love it. and i never take it for granted. i still vividly remember a time when you didn't sleep at all. and it wasn't just a colicky baby not sleeping. that i can handle. this was so much worse.

when you sleep, everything is right with the world. it's almost as if all those genes in your body are perfectly un-mutated and you don't have that dreaded syndrome. your breathing is steady and sure {no hyperventilating or breath holding for you}, your fingers are still and your teeth don't sound like saws. 

you seem truly at peace. the way i wish you could be all day long. ironically, the reason you nap is most likely because you can't be like that all day long.

i hope you feel as peaceful as you look, miss leah. i hope you can really soak in that restfulness if only to give you energy to deal with what you're dealt during the day. only just make sure we keep the energy at bay during church today. because i didn't get a nap this morning {at least not a restful one}.

i love you, beah. to the moon and back. 

love, 

mommy