i'm a bawl baby...

dear little leah,

i'm a bawl baby.

but i'm sure you already knew that.

funny thing is, i never used to cry. i can probably count on one hand the number of times a movie made me cry until recently. now tv commercials make me cry. i tear up in private, in public, when i'm happy, when i'm sad. basically, i just cry all the time now.

but today i had a good reason.

today daddy sent me a song that was written by collin raye. it's called "she's with me." and i'm pretty sure he wrote the song about you.

acutally, he wrote it about his granddaughter, haley. she has a neurological disorder just like you. and, just like you she can't speak and has some really rough days.

but, just like me, collin raye loves his little granddaughter just like i love you. and he sees her as a little angel that they are lucky enough to share their lives with. that's how daddy and i feel about you.

i've listened to the song a kazillion times today. and i've cried (okay, bawled) each time. i've also given you a few more hugs today.

i sure love you.

love,
mommy

collin raye: she's with me lyrics:
She’s with me I proudly tell the maitre de as we arrive.
He seems surprised.
In a clumsy moment as he looks for room, for her blessed chair.
A table stares, and their eyes show only pity as they try to sympathize.
Oh, how difficult that must be, look away.
Day after day, they’ll never see, the joy you bring.
Only happy at the times I know that she’s with me.
I wear it like a badge of honor at the mall.
I hear her call, the only way that she is able with a cry.
Time to go bye bye, she can’t say why.
Maybe tired, maybe hurting, god I wish that I could tell.
Do I ever make her happy for awhile.
To see her smile, makes my week.
Though she can’t speak, she lets me know she feels my love when she’s with me.
I know just what heaven looks like when I see that perfect face.
For no other mortal heart could be so fair.
I myself so weak and weary, so imperfect as a man.
How could I be the one you chose to care for our girl.
Never done a single deed to earn the right to share her light.
Though it’s such a painful road we walk each day.
Lord you have your ways, this I pray.
On the day I stand before you, she’ll stand right by my side.
When you look upon me, head hung down in shame I’ll feel the blame.
She’ll look at me, and then she’ll speak, in that precious voice:
Don’t worry ‘bout him my lord, cuz you see,
He’s with me.