Sunday, May 13, 2007

to my daughter...

On February 23, 2004, I went to the communications week capstone lecture given by Jane Clayson-Johnson, a very successful broadcast journalist who also happens to be a Latter-day Saint. My whole life, I wanted to be a bradcast journalist, but changed my major halfway through college because I knew the lifestyle wouldn't mesh with my desire to stay at home with a family. Jane knew this too. She married a little bit later than she expected in life and, at the time she gave this lecture, she had turned down a lucritive offer for a four-year contract with a national television station because she was expecting her first child. She was ridiculed for her decision, but knew it was the right decision for her. She said (as recorded in my journal two days later), "I believe you cannot have it all. There will always be a sacrifice. And if that sacrifice comes at the expense of your family, as your role as a wife and as a mother, it is not worth it." I'm not sure why, but this message really got to me. I was in tears and went to thank her for her message after she was finished. I was 22 years old and had been married for less than one year - I was nowhere near the point in my life where I would be ready for children, but I knew, at some point, I would need to make the same decision as Jane - that my role was to be a mother and I shouldn't let anything get in the way of that. Who would have thought that one day short of three years after the date of that lecture, I became a mother. I love Leah more than I can describe and the joy that she brings to my life is worth every sacrifice I have and will make. Being a mother truly is one of the best gifts I have been given. Though it may be hard to remember that during late nights, tantrums, or mundane tasks, I have been entrusted with one of God's children and will try my best to raise her in righteousness. I love you, Leah.

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