a mother's instinct is always right...

yup, that's right folks. I was right. YOU were wrong. This post is for all of you out there who said to me, "Oh, don't worry, Leah will walk when she wants to. She'll crawl when she's ready. My cousin's baby, blah, blah, blah...My sister's son, blah, blah, blah." Okay, i'm not really that rude. But...at 16 months, i think it was past the time that leah would be moving when she was ready. I wasn't glad that I didn't have to chase her around like everyone thought I should be...I was worried that I would have to carry her to kindergarten!! She wasn't crawling or cruising or anything, so, my pediatrician wanted me to put her in physical therapy right away.

So, to physical therapy we went. We have been three times now...we go about every two weeks. Each time, we get a few assignments to work on. The therapist shows me what to do and I'm supposed to help her exercise as much as I can at home. Sounds great, right? WRONG. It is so hard! I never would have believed it if I weren't doing it, but most of the time she just fights it and it's like this battle to see who will outlast who...and Leah usually wins. It's emotionally and physically draining for me...but, we are starting to see some improvements.

When we started, Leah was 15 1/2 months old. She was sitting just fine, steamrolling like a champ and spinning on her bum (but only using her hands to push her in circles). She hated being on her knees, hated standing (or if she did stand, she would lock her knees and rest her chest against whatever she was standing against) and wouldn't walk along with me as i held her hands.

Now, 4 weeks later, she is:

• going from lying down to sitting up all on her own (i cannot tell you how many times we worked on this! - we went to get her from her crib a few days ago and she was sitting up playing with her dolly, just giggling...she was so proud of what she had done!),
• spinning in circles using her legs,
• standing like a champ (and unlocking her knees sometimes),
• using her feet a little bit for balance,
• using her trunk and arms for balance A LOT more,
• walking along with me as i hold her hands,
• kneeling pretty well,
• and...drumroll, please...SCOOTING FORWARD ON HER TUMMY. Yes, i said it. It can go down in the record books. Just this week she started scooting forward all on her own.

i know i sound like an idiot being so excited about this when she is 16 months old, but it's so nice to finally see some sort of improvement. It makes me feel like we're finally moving in the right direction and all the time and effort I have put into it in the last few weeks are paying off.

Today was a not-so-good day at the therapist's office because leah was a MEAN baby all day. But, then you see this...

...and you just melt. The rest of the picture that you don't see is Leah kneeling against her chair reading a book...and i saw her little toes sticking out behind her and just about lost it. She is so dang cute. And we are soooo proud of her!

yay for leah!

to my daughter...

On February 23, 2004, I went to the communications week capstone lecture given by Jane Clayson-Johnson, a very successful broadcast journalist who also happens to be a Latter-day Saint. My whole life, I wanted to be a bradcast journalist, but changed my major halfway through college because I knew the lifestyle wouldn't mesh with my desire to stay at home with a family. Jane knew this too. She married a little bit later than she expected in life and, at the time she gave this lecture, she had turned down a lucritive offer for a four-year contract with a national television station because she was expecting her first child. She was ridiculed for her decision, but knew it was the right decision for her. She said (as recorded in my journal two days later), "I believe you cannot have it all. There will always be a sacrifice. And if that sacrifice comes at the expense of your family, as your role as a wife and as a mother, it is not worth it." I'm not sure why, but this message really got to me. I was in tears and went to thank her for her message after she was finished. I was 22 years old and had been married for less than one year - I was nowhere near the point in my life where I would be ready for children, but I knew, at some point, I would need to make the same decision as Jane - that my role was to be a mother and I shouldn't let anything get in the way of that. Who would have thought that one day short of three years after the date of that lecture, I became a mother. I love Leah more than I can describe and the joy that she brings to my life is worth every sacrifice I have and will make. Being a mother truly is one of the best gifts I have been given. Though it may be hard to remember that during late nights, tantrums, or mundane tasks, I have been entrusted with one of God's children and will try my best to raise her in righteousness. I love you, Leah.